Telling people about your ball jointed dolls

This is a very unique hobby. It really isn’t a mainstream thing that people see on a day to day basis. It can be a challenge to bring it up with others, especially your significant other. I know that when I started expressing my interest to collect, I told my husband (he was boyfriend at the time) and I honestly was a tiny bit nervous talking to him about it.

Was he going to think I was a weirdo for collecting dolls?

Is he going to freak out over the price of these dolls?

Will he be against me collecting?

I think some people might have these fears and unsettling feelings and not only with their significant others but family as well.

I have seen it go both ways for people and today I wanted to share some of the communities experience on this topic.

Lay the cards on the table…or maybe the doll

Honesty will go a long way when talking to others about this hobby. Be open with them and let them know about the prices and work that goes into owning BJDs. This is a pricey hobby and requires a lot of research. Honestly all hobbies cost money and can easily rack up a bill and BJDs are no different.

The most important thing to convey to them is your overall interest and reason for collecting. Once they see you have a passion for BJDs they should hopefully understand and be supportive of your hobby.

Does every person experience a positive outcome?

No.

I have seen people talk about their negative experiences with family or spouses rejecting their desire to collect. This is tough and it can make things hard between you and those who do not support your interest in the hobby.

I am in no way, or shape, a counselor or therapist, but I do feel like it is important for you to put value in your own thoughts and wishes. I feel it is very important to come to a decision on how you will handle this.

Check out these stories from people in the community:

“My immediate family never disapproved but my extended family acts like they are a frivolous burden, to the point of accusing my dolls of being the reason why my move to college was difficult (even though I only had a few then, which I could fit into one backpack altogether–nevermind the real bulk of what I was moving came from basic needs like clothes and shoes and supplies.) Otherwise I wouldn’t date someone who did not ‘agree’ with my collection, and the only family I keep in contact with is my grandma, who bought several of my dolls for me.” -Anonymous

“My parents got a bit pissed every time I tell them that I bought a doll, just because they want me to save money (I live at home and already give them half of my pay for rent and food etc), it kind of lessened when I started showing them what I learn (making clothes, wigs, doing faceups etc), they still don’t really like that I spend money in general, I just stopped telling them how much my current collection is worth” -Ari

“My parents get mildly annoyed whenever I get a new doll. Nothing serious, but they think bjds are toys and always advise that I should start adulting. Then they actually see the doll and fall in love like I do. Lol” -Cosplay Pappy

“My immediate family thinks they’re a huge waste, so I don’t share about my hobbies with them. Significant other cringes at the prices, but sees how happy they make me so when one comes up he knows I’ve been waiting for…like Hyperon, all he asks is “Did you get it?” and “When are we expecting a box?””- Kiwi

“Well, my experience is not so good about bjds vs family. I left my family very early, because it was unreal to live with them. Then we not have so much contacts, because I moved to work to another country. But I not hide my hobby, before bjd it was cosplay and anime figurines, then I sold almost all my figurines, and ordered my 1st RD boy. Of course I had a work and my parents not helped me, so I spend only my money on this and that’s all. But even this making them angry. Because they thinking I’m like a kid etc and spending my own money on trash. Now I live more far from them, then before. and last their words was: ”We don’t want to know you anymore.”. After this I broke up any contacts.” – Heliot

“I never disagreed as my gaming hobby has always had a hefty price tag at times, but that never stops my jaw from dropping when I hear the price of some dolls, especially when its just the head  However! Sam [@nocturnedoll] has always done so well working within the hobby on Faceups and the like, that its made me extremely proud to see how far she has come and that she can basically self fund her hobby helping others get the work they want done!” -Alan

“For me it’s most of my family.. they don’t really understand collecting BJDs (or dolls in general). To me they are a way to cope with childhood trauma and simply make me just that bit happier. Only person who is really accepting is my brother and I feel super grateful for that. My parents – well they just laugh at me (and I don’t dare to tell the rest of my family).. so I’m still kind of a closeted collector, I guess?” -Anonymous

“When I started putting up pictures of my dolls, my nephew in law kept saying they were creepy. When that didn’t stop me, he started telling me that my dolls were going to eat me in my sleep (yes I laughed). He has pediophobia (fear of dolls…a real phobia). I learned recently that his daughter got a reborn and he refuses to go into her bedroom now. I think the bottom line is we have to learn the difference between fear and downright rude people who want to shame us.”- Anonymous

“Well my elderly Aunt was horrified by the fact the dolls were correct in the pants and absolutely couldn’t understand the point of male dolls. She did say it was childish and that if I must have dolls collect some nice ones instead of those vulgar things. She’s the only one in my family that had a problem with them, the rest of my family has been awesome” -Michelle

“My parent didn’t agree at first and said I was wasting money. But after a while they accepted it and told me it was my money and I could do what I wanted. I don’t let extended family touch any of my dolls because they tease me and make jokes. Like “He’s got a wiener and why is he wearing a dress?” They also touch them without asking and I get so paranoid that they are going to break them.” -CosMagicCosplay

“I got some weird comments when I got my first doll which led me to create an Instagram account solely for sharing my dolls. My husband thinks it’s a waste of money so we usually have a lengthy discussion when I want to make a doll-related purchase. I don’t have an income besides dog sitting occasionally, so I usually save that money as hobby money. Other than the financial aspect, my husband doesn’t mind my hobby and the rest of my family aren’t bothered by it.” -Katie

“My mom originally was mad I was buying dolls cuz I hated barbie growing up and would not be girly. But came around till she figured out the cost, and I started to say she should charge me rent. Now that I live on my own she will still make remarks about the cost if I buy a doll, but then say it’s my money and I can do what I want. No one else has ever really said much and my husband now is not bothered by them, but I don’t collect the way I used to maybe getting 1 or 2 dolls a year if any at all.” – Chibi

“My family never really minded what hobbies I got into/get into. So long as it isn’t illegal, doesn’t hurt anyone and, if it’s a costly hobby, I save up and pay for it myself. My dad never saw the appeal of bjds and just saw them as expensive dolls. But he also told me that if I used my own money, he wouldn’t stop me. So…yeah. That’s as far as it goes. My mom, on the other hand, is full on supportive and wants to get into making clothes for my doll when I get them.” -Rina

I want people out there to realize that you are not alone if you have people that are not supportive of your hobbies. There are so many great online communities out there that you can join and find others that can share your excitement and joy for this hobby.

Some data for you on SOs (significant others) and the hobby

I was genuinely interested to see what people’s SOs had to say about the ball jointed doll hobby and made some interview questions. I put forth the questions in BJD Addicts and asked collectors to sit with their SOs and ask them their thoughts. It was a huge surprise to see 50 people answer the survey and the results were very intriguing!

Question 1: Do my dolls scare you?

First, I asked if significant others found the dolls to be scary. Thanks to modern pop culture horror films, dolls are usually portrayed in a negative way. They are not everyone’s cup of tea, but maybe our SOs don’t feel bad about them? It was great to see that not a lot of people were bothered by them too much.

Question 2: Do you know how much my dolls cost?

Sometimes I wonder if significant others actually know what the true cost of these dolls are. I wondered if couples bother to discuss it or just leave it as hobby expenses. It is nice to know that significant others listen and know how much the dolls actually cost.

Question 3: Do you know the names of my dolls?

It is very touching to me when significant others really listen to the many rambles that go on. Great job SOs of the doll hobby for knowing any of the doll names your partner collects!

Question 4: Do you know any of the BJD Brands I own/What company they are from?

This was a tough question because even I forget sometimes where some of my dolls are from. But hey! Look at those significant others go! More than half of them knew at least 1 of the companies or brands!

Question 5: Would you ever like to own a BJD?

When you are in a relationship with someone sometimes your interests become their interests and vice a versa. It is great that even if a majority of significant others would pass on having a doll of their own, that they are still there for you as you collect.

In conclusion…

To recap all the things we’ve discussed and gathered from other peoples stories…

• First and foremost, enjoy what you have and don’t feel bad for starting a hobby just like any other hobby that is out there today.
• Be honest with others regarding your hobby, especially if you financially share responsibilities with others.
• Not everyone will like or accept your dolls and that’s ok. Do what you love and enjoy what brings you happiness.
• There is a chance that people will change their mind and actually start accepting your collection.
• HAVE FUN!

A special thanks to all those out there that shared their stories with me. I know sometimes it is tough talking about these things, but you give other people comfort knowing they may not be the only one going through similar problems. I want us to continue to support each other and honestly spread the love and joy this hobby brings people.

Want to share your experience? Tell us in the comments section down below!

Have a dollytastic day!

BONUS: Here is a video of me talking to my significant other and him having fun dressing one of my dolls. We were laugh-crying by the end of the video.

Bonus interview with my hubby:

1.What were your initial thoughts when I told you about the BJD hobby?

“Cool, sounds like a fun hobby.” At the time I was into 40k/ tabletop gaming miniatures hobbies so it seemed very closely related, except on a larger scale with less models. 

2. Did the price for the dolls shock you? Why or why not?

No. Because I have purchased Titans and Super Heavy vehicles/monsters in 40k and they are very expensive as well. I knew more or less the cost of resin/plastic models. 

3. Without going to check my collection…how many dolls do you think I currently own?

20-25.

(He got it pretty much correct…I own about 30)

4. Are there any positives that you see from me joining the BJD hobby?

Friends and experiences. You made a lot of really cool friends who are into the same niche hobby. They seem really nice and it’s always cool to have others who have similar interests in your own hobby, especially when it’s very niche. You also got to do a lot of really fun experiences you would have never gotten to do if you weren’t in this hobby. Like going to conventions, teaching classes, and running games/ conventions. Unique experiences are such fun and important parts of life and this helped unlock some of those achievements for you. 

5. Is there any advice or guidance you can give to other SOs who are dating someone who is looking to join the BJD hobby?

Support your SO and have fun with it. Get to understand it a bit so you can appreciate why they appreciate the hobby. You don’t have to go all in and know the difference between an SD 1/3rd and an MSD 1/4th or how SD means Super Dolfie… oh no… why do I know those things… send help… I’m in too deep…